two of four horsemen

I dropped off the face of the planet for a bit. I'm recovering from a sore throat. I've been warned it could be scarlet fever, or strep, or a cold... As is characteristic of me, I'm waiting it out. Why go to a doctor for him (or her) to say that I have to rest, drink lots of liquids, suck on cold stuff, and I'll be good to go in a few days? I can say that to myself and not pay the $70. Anyway, I've returned to the world of the living, almost.

I've been thinking about the impact one person has on the world. We all know of someone whose death would be mourned by hundreds of people in some way. Think about it--if President Bush died, the US would have a lot of people pondering all the good things he did for us and wish that he were still alive, whether or not we believed he should be the president. The majority of us would mourn him in some way. This whole train of thought came about because my uncle died last week. My dad's little brother was 40-something, and lived down in Virginia (near TN & NC) near my grandparents. He had a tough life, but always always enjoyed himself. I remember sitting in his new pet shop, helping make the sign for out front, playing with his dogs and ferrets, and looking at that weird animal in the cage near the checkout, a chinchilla. More recently, we've been exchanging emails about life, what we've been up to, chinchillas as pets, and so forth. Basically, we've been connecting despite the miles and despite the fact that my dad's family doesn't talk very often. It's been nice. He had invited me down whenever I had time to go on vacation, biking and hiking through the Blue Mountains... no regrets. I'll miss him. He was always an interesting, fun person to be around and talk to.

It's amazing what his death meant to the family. His wife still is down there. His parents I'm sure are devastated; he was their youngest. His two brothers... Of his neices and nephews, I think I am the one who knew him most, though my older brother may have known him better. My dad, who just moved up to a property in way Upstate NY he bought from his ex-mother-in-law, is now moving down to Virginia to care for his parents. My uncle was doing that, taking care of their bills and them, and now Dad is moving down there. What an impact. Dad's moving almost 4 states south (NY, PA, MD, VA) to be with his family. I think it will be good for him, and for them. My uncle's wife will now have someone from her husband's immediate family around (in addition to his senile parents). My grandparents will not only have someone watching over them, but will have someone else to talk to and be with. Even better, it's their son, who hasn't lived near them in 8 years, and with them for about 30 years. Dad was going to be living essentially alone in NY, and now he will not only have company, he'll have things to do and people to do it with, including the hunting that is dear to him. He was happy up in NY, but he might enjoy himself in VA as well.

What impact will my life make? I don't need hundreds mourning my death. I want people to celebrate life. The kids I work with now may not remember my name ten years down the road, but some will remember their times at the youth center and how much they loved going there. They will remember encouragement, safety, and perhaps growth. I'm a part of that. Do I need them to recognize it? No. Does it change what I do for them? No. Even if I don't have many chances to make a difference in someone's life, I want those few I do have to be good times. If it's conversation over cleanup after dinner on wednesday; if it's a nighttime visit on the neighbor's porch; if it's a rare phone call with a friend who is thousands of miles away; if it's a few minutes joking with the clerk at the gas station...every smile given makes a difference. Every smile returned is an impact I made on someone else's life. And the people I see daily...well, I have more time to make a difference, and hopefully I will.

What impact will your life make? How will you achieve it?